I Was a Teenage Dwarf

I Was a Teenage Dwarf

by Max Shulman
This hysterical follow-up to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis details the lifelong pursuits of the pint-sized Don Juan

Each chapter—straight from the diaries of Dobie Gillis—is a true experience from our hero’s life between the ages of thirteen to thirty. All the experiences are about girls, because that’s what Dobie’s life is about: girls.

In “Girls: Their Cause and Cure,” Dobie is a sixth-grader with the serious issue of being shorter than every girl in his class. A petite cellist with leaky tear ducts is his best bet until a beautiful rock-and-roll chick arrives at school. Dobie falls hard for the new girl, not realizing that she’s due for a growth spurt.

Two years later, Dobie has more important concerns. In “Puberty Is Here to Stay,” his girlfriend, Tuckie Webb, goes away to summer camp and comes back more stunning than ever. Too bad she has hulking seventeen-year-old Murder McIntyre attached to her arm.

Fifteen years later, Dobie weds his college sweetheart, Chloe. Marriage, it turns out, is the cure for Dobie’s obsession with girls, but money worries now plague our hero’s mind. When baby Pete arrives and Chloe spends all their cash on vitamins, nursery school, fencing lessons, and fancy dogs, Dobie fears he’ll never have the nest egg he desires. Then he realizes that he already has the two things a man really needs: a beautiful, loving wife and a happy child.

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