The Paranoid's Pocket Guide

“[A] compendium of beyond-Seinfeldian, fear-inducing factlets . . . What if, snorting back laughter while reading it, you rupture a key blood vessel?” —Entertainment Weekly

Are you worried sick? If not, maybe you should be. Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bona fide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it’s archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don’t be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don’t.

“A new handbook for our times . . . a numbing catalog of afflictions and conditions, possibilities and probabilities of everything that can, and surely will, go terribly, terribly wrong.” —Washington City Paper