What's the Number for 911?

911 Dispatch: "911, what's your emergency?" Caller: "What were the winning numbers for the Evening Pick Four today?"

Lauded as the "911 poster child" by Katie Couric, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory takes us back to where the funny all began.

From presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons and office idiots, Leland Gregory generates side-splitting laughter by chronicling the worst of human nature. Gregory takes us back to where all the laughs began by updating his 911 cult classic with more than 150 new tales of bizarre but true 911 calls such as:

.911: "Do you know a good stain remover?"

.911 Report: Person answered "no" to the question: "Are you conscious?"

.911 Report: Man called and requested dispatcher call his wife to let her know he's on his way home and that she shouldn't yell at him.