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How We Change

by Ross Ellenhorn
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Published by HarperCollins
“An elegant, convincing, and deeply humanist approach to understanding our resistance to change” (David A. Kessler, MD, author of The End of Overeating).

Why do we refuse to change habits and behaviors we know are harmful to us?

Clinician and thought leader in the mental health and addiction fields Dr. Ross Ellenhorn suggests that we’re often looking in the wrong direction when we try to decipher the factors that support change. In his research and work with patients, he’s discovered that it’s much more fruitful to look at why we don’t change than to figure out why we do. Understanding what holds us back offers the best chance of actually changing in meaningful ways.

In How We Change, Dr. Ellenhorn explains how we are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the Fear of Hope—the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment. He identifies the “Ten Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do, inspires us to face our fears and overcome our resistance, and offers real hope.

How We Change speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears with humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curiosity about them, we learn to think about our actions to discover what we truly want—even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way. How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective and help us achieve the meaningful transformation we truly want.

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